Throwback Tuesday- Letters To Tommy, First Edition
Before my husband I have never experienced love. It was a foreign and scary concept to me to completely give your heart over to someone and for someone to completely give their own without hesitation. Once the fear began to wear off I allowed myself to be enveloped in it and I began to write about him, about our relationship, and about the tiny heartwarming moments that filled the very beginning of our adventure together. Recently I recalled those writings and I began to miss them, I was thinking about how life has gotten the better of us and that what free time I do have is spent on here and so every Tuesday I am going to reopen a piece of those writings and share them here, with you all, I deem this "Throwback Tuesday."
August 29th, 2010
I am entirely overwhelmed with how much you love me. My heart swells with joy every time I hear those three words roll off of your tongue. Its like those words belong only to us, we know they don't but it feels that way nonetheless. And the joy is only a portion of it. What about the hurt? The ache? The pain? How quickly it can rush over me, and over the simplest things. Things like not being able to hear your voice, or kiss your lips, or be wrapped in your arms. It is a good hurt. It feels good to be so in love that you are so completely vulnerable to any and every kind of pain.
This is shortly after my wedding. At my reception I remember you taking a photo of my rings and sending them to Tommy and texting him the little details of the day. We (just you and I in hushed whispers) had a semi-serious conversation at the wedding party table about your feelings for Tommy and you asked me how I could be so sure of my relationship after such a short amount of time. A part of me knew you were quickly falling head over heals with a proper southern boy and that soon in the not too distant future you yourself would be saying vows as well. Not 7 months later you vowed til death do you part.
ReplyDeleteRight before I tossed my bouquet you told me that under no uncertain terms was I to purposely throw it to you. Of course the bouquet made a B line straight for you and you leaned away from it. You wanted no part in being the next woman of the group of singles to be married. Looking back and going over reception photos of you leaning away I get a good chuckle because no matter how hard you tried to avoid the bouquet superstition it still came to be.
I have watched you grow from 16 year old crew trainer, to a free spirited college girl, to a mature young adult who despite fighting all notions of giving her heart away, engagements and weddings found that she did not give her heart away, Tommy just simply stole it with no intentions on giving it back. I am so proud of the woman you have grown to be and the mother you are to Ethan. You might go through some rough patches, but you truly are blessed and will have a modern day happily ever after.
Love, Jess