Boy Mama

I would be an absolute fat liar if I said I didn't want a girl. I long to one day have someone to go shopping with, get mani pedis with, and to offer boy advice to (warranted or not) but alas my destiny is to be a boy mama. The good thing about having boys? They get to marry someone great (with my blessing) and provide me with granddaughters babies. Just kidding, there are a lot of great things about having boys and I thought I would take the time to share some of them.

Farts are funny; anywhere, anytime, and any place…just ask Ethan. There was once a time where I scoffed at those who farted and laughed, heck sometimes I downright got mad and left the room.  These days? Ha. I fart and laugh with the best of them.

Dirt dont hurt. This is something you learn right away. Just last week I watched a little bug land in Ethans pool and he noticed it too. His little finger slowly started to approach the pesky thing and I said "don't eat it, please don't ea---, oh, you're eating it." Table? Napkin? Plate? Mom, I will just eat right here off the floor thank you very much.

Special effects. If you can't master the dinosaur rawr in the Dover house you will quickly be exiled. My "truck" sounds still need work, I just stick to the basic but very effective "vroooom vrooom."

The penis is a toy. Are you broke? Is he bored with the same old toys in his boring little room you spent weeks making perfect for him? Take off the diaper and let him roam. Boys love being naked, not only do they love being naked but they love exploring down there, from day one. My mind flashed back to days where I would walk my high school and see my peers scratching/adjusting/playing pocket pool and now I completely get it.

The word no is not effective. Neither are spankings and time outs. Want to know what works? A distraction. Whip out a giant chocolate chip cookie or make up a new game on the spot and the issue is solved (kinda.) Basically what I am saying is boys are persistent but I can't hate it. That trait will get him far in life and if it weren't for his Daddy being persistent there would be no Ethan, there would have been no wedding.

These things are all fun and amusing from a female perspective but you know what the best thing about being a boy mama is? I am his first great love. I can pass up bows and ballet for that…any day of the week.